Most spouses, bosses, pastors, or friends of sex addicts have a sixth sense that something is wrong. This may take various forms and could simply be a combination of impressions from certain events. They may feel that they are not getting the full or real story. The explanations of sex addicts for where they were or what they were doing on such and such occasion just don't make sense.

One spouse told me her husband used to take thirty to forty-five minutes to take the baby-sitter home. He would explain that he was just visiting or that he had stopped off at the convenience store and then just driven around to relax. He sounded convincing and sincere, but it didn't make sense. In fact, he was briefly visiting a woman with whom he was having an affair.