Know what to look for and you can spot a sex addict at a party, the grocery store, even church. They tell sexual jokes, they touch people in ways that don't feel right, they give too many hugs, and they are looking, always looking. Their eyes dart here and there. They take everything in. They follow certain attractive people.

Some sex addicts are very direct. They will come right up to you and talk about sex. One day the receptionist at a health club told me a man had just come up to her, out of the blue, and asked if she would like to go home with him. There are more subtle overtures than this, and sex addicts can be very creative.

As the disease progresses, the kinds of inappropriate sexual behavior will get worse. A pastor's wife told me how her husband first took her to R-, then X-rated movies. Next he bought a video camera and wanted to film her nude. Then he wanted to film her being sexual with other men. When she refused, he became angry and abusive. She left and he has never received help.

The strange part about stories like this is how long it may take a loved one to challenge the behavior. Look for it in early days. The progression of the disease means that the consequences will get worse.